Shinji had always felt a bit uncomfortable around Asuka. “Shinji-Kun, you’re still alive? We thought you died!” Asuka and Rei, both also from Shinji’s class. One with long, orange hair and a confident demeanor, and the other with short blue hair and a quiet attitude. Yeah, you’re gonna end up wishing you were actually dead,” Toji giggled. “Honestly, the thing I’m most worried about is catching up on Gendo-Sensei’s work…” They always knew when she was going through something. “Yeah,” Kensuke jumped in, “so don’t think you have to tell us if you don’t want to! We’re just glad you’re back, Toji here was certain you died.” “Listen dude, I don’t know what the hell happened to you, but it’s pretty clear that it might be…touchy.”
“Hey, um,” Shinji got prepared to apologize for ghosting them, when Toji interrupted her. She wasn’t too excited to deal with all the drama around that. She hadn’t seen either of them in a month, which was when she basically had a panic attack and fainted in the middle of class. Shinji’s two closest friends, Kensuke Aida and Toji Suzukara. Two boys ran towards Shinji at breakneck speeds, yelling at her and grinning from ear to ear. But that would have to wait, because Shinji Ikari had arrived at school. Courage to tell her mom that she, maybe, possibly, is a trans woman. Shinji’s plan for today was to keep repeating these phrases in her head until she got home, where she was building up an insane amount of courage. That one little word clicked something inside of Shinji, she was filled with happiness whenever she used it for herself. Sometimes, she’d just sit in the mirror, whispering little facts to herself. The most damning evidence was when Shinji started using female pronouns when referring to herself. The times she had been jealous of the girls at school, the times she had felt weird when being grouped with boys during gym class. But reading more about gender dysphoria and the experiences of trans women caused Shinji to reflect on her life. Shinji had always known about trans people, but never thought she could be one. She couldn’t take the constant pain and hatred, and searched for the reason. This was how she discovered that she’s a transgender woman. This was her first day back after one month of staying at home, Misato thought it was best for her mental health. Shinji stepped out, walking to school slower than ever. Shinji hugged her gently, “I love you too.” “Aw mom…” Shinji got embarrassed, but she knew she loved her mom more than anyone else. “Shinji,” she started to tear up, “I love you so much.” Shinji walked out the door of her Tokyo apartment before being stopped by her mother. Her desire to just be a normal boy grew everyday, and no matter how well she hid it, Shinji knew it would begin to show soon. It was little things like these that bothered Shinji the most. This blindness, mixed with her drowsiness every morning, made changing clothes a hassle. Shinji couldn’t look at herself while changing clothes, she knew it would result in a spiral of self hatred. “Oh boy…” Shinji thought to her, “time to change clothes.” Shinji sighed, as Misato closed the door behind her. “No, um,” Shinji jumped out of her bed, “I’m just kinda nervous. Shinji’s laughter stopped at the word “boy,” as she felt a pain in her chest. Misato laughed along, “there’s my happy boy.” And in some ways, that made it even scarier. Although, it was mostly because she had recognized what was causing it. Shinji laughed, it was true that her depression had gotten better lately. I can’t really tell what you’re thinking sometimes, kid.” You can do this though, you’ve been doing better lately! At least, I think. Shinji sat up, tired and feeling a bit weak, I made you lunch, just grab it and head out.” “You’re gonna be late for school, Shinji. Shinji Ikari opened her eyes to see her adoptive mother, Misato, staring down at her.